“There is no way you are taking my kid home for a play date on your bike,” said the mother, as a humorous aside when we were talking about organizing some play dates.

Her comment was followed by a tense quiet that lasted too long for the both of us.

The bike to which she was referring is my family’s Bakfiets (box bike).

She noticed the silence and my lack of response. Thinking back to that moment, I probably had an incredulous look on my face. Frankly, I was stunned. I did not know what my next course of action would be. So I stood frozen, dad-in-headlights. Her comment was said playfully, as if to make the sting less, but it stayed with me.

A few weeks later, I shared this situation with a parent who has biked kids for many years, and she responded with just the bit of urban fact that I needed.

She reminded me that the more people who bike, the safer it is for everyone to bike.

For my family, after school transportation is done primarily through biking, so the only way I could transport my son and his friend home would be by bike. It is a tough situation because I want my son to be able to have play dates with his buddy (who is quite awesome), but I am not able to--and do not want to--change my transportation choices.

I am not a militant bike missionary, and I happen to like this parent. I understand her concerns and am not blind to the life that is out there.

The BTA states that the top three reasons parents choose not to bike or walk for the trip to school are:

• (1) intersection safety
• (2) traffic speed
• (3) traffic volume

It has been over 6 months since this conversation took place. My sons and I have not experienced any dangerous situations on the roads while riding our bike. This is a result of my overly safe and conscious biking style. But it is also a respectful nod to both the people driving as well as the many city departments and organizations that are building a better place for mixed transportation. Such as the BTA, who “advocate for improved cycling facilities,” states Angela Koch, who is also the parent with whom I commiserated and one of the tireless workers at the BTA.

Koch adds, “We know what people want most are low traffic routes for biking and we are extremely effective in our advocacy....and countless other victories for cyclists that benefit children and families.”

When I bike in Portland, I feel safe. When I bike with my family in Portland, I feel safe and I revel in the time I have with my family, closely enjoying our city. Hopefully, in time, more people will see this as the norm rather than an enigma.