Around the end of summertime, gardeners start playing jokes on one another.  Neighbors donate apples to each other, and receive their produce back in the shapes of homemade pies or crumbles.  Baskets of free tomatoes grace office tables, and Craigslist posts about excess pears abound.  The best way to get rid of extra fruit and veg that I’ve heard of, though, involves zucchini:  put them on your neighbor’s porch, ring the doorbell, and run.  For the record, if anyone out there would like to play this joke on me, just email me and we’ll work something out.

Zucchini, also known as Cucurbita pepo, are botanically related to other viney vegetables like cucumbers.  These sprawling vines are known to produce a veritable plethora of edibles, if they’re treated properly.  If you’d like to grow zucchini, just get some seeds.  Put them in the ground after the danger of the first frost has passed.  Then water liberally.  That’s all there is to it.  It’s a good idea to plant flowers that are attractive to bees (such as sage) nearby – zucchini plants needs pollination in order to truly thrive.  If you play your cards right, you might even get some volunteer zucchini long after you’ve yanked your spent plants:  my friend Andy was rewarded with two hearty zucchini plants that showed up in his herb box after he’d composted the area and tilled it up well.

Zucchini (or courgette, as it’s known to the Britons) can be cooked in any number of ways.  It makes a delicious addition to dishes such as tomato sauces and stir fries, and does very well on its own.  My mother’s favourite way to make zucchini was to slice it into rings, dip it in egg and seasoned breadcrumbs, fry it in olive oil, and sprinkle it with parmesan cheese.  Perhaps not the healthiest way to eat your veggies, but a delicious route to go about getting your five a day nonetheless.

Our friend Mr. Z is an excellent addition to your diet.  Zucchini only contains about 15 calories per serving, and has high amounts of potassium and vitamin A.  A simple ½ cup of zucchini contains about a fifth of your daily manganese intake, as well.  

In the interest of exploring those things we find a little odd, I thought I’d take the last portion of this column to address eating zucchini blossoms.  My friends thought my delight over battering the beasts and frying them (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I suppose) sounded a little odd, but I was able to persuade everyone to eat a flower or two anyway.  The recipe that follows represents one of those happy little accidents that happen in the kitchen when a couple of glasses of wine mix with a person’s inner competitive desire to impress everyone she knows.  Enjoy the oddities, and remember to lace up your shoes properly before undertaking any guerilla vegetable disposal operations.

Tempura-battered Zucchini Blossoms
As many zucchini blossoms as you’d like (for an appetizer, about two per person)
Jar of roasted red peppers
1 package of creamy goat cheese (plain or garlic-herb)
½ cup tempura batter powder
Water
Salt
Black Pepper
Olive oil for frying

Put tempura batter powder into bowl.  Add water, a tablespoon at a time, to the powder, and mix until it’s thick enough to stick to your finger.  

Heat oil on medium flame until sizzling.  Slice open the zucchini blossoms (which needn’t have opened yet, just avoid the browned, wilted ones).  Smear a small amount of goat cheese inside, and stuff the remainder of the blossom with roasted red pepper.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Dip into tempura batter, then lower into hot oil.  Fry until batter is crispy.  Place on a paper towel on a plate to drain, and serve.